The Saddest Part

So I was having a conversation with my mother and siblings the other day.  My sister has just gotten comfortable in the first relationship she's ever been in that seems at least as likely as not to end in marriage, and my mother asked her, as people in relationships are prone to doing of other people who are not actually dating anymore, about what dating was like in the Bay Area.

I wasn't really listening to what she said about what women think of men in general, which, come to think of it, is really the more important testimonial, given that she's a woman, but she said something about men thinking of women as generally too shy, to which I interjected that I probably don't represent what most men think of women around here, but that if shy is the word that would occur to the average guy, I think it would be somewhat inaccurate and I reminded them both of what Ana told us about meeting her new boyfriend.

I had been there for the occasion, and it could not have been more obvious when Jerreau (sp?), a friend of our cousin Sarah who met us for burritos one day, asked her if she wanted to go for a bike ride some time, that he was asking her out romantically.  For whatever reason, however, Ana was slow on the uptake.  A week later she asked my dad if the meeting had likely been a date, and, of course, with no more information than you the reader have, he assured her that it had been.

A month later, when she was clearly in the relationship, she said, in retelling the story over dinner for those who hadn't seen her in a while, that, because she hadn't been sure it was a date or not, she'd probably been far nicer to him that she would have been if she'd known.

Now, she said this in all seriousness, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

On another block or a different walk from the dating conversation with Mom and Ana, we were back on the subject, this time with my brother in my sister's place and Ana walking ahead with my Dad.

I think I reopened the issue with a comment I've had on tap for a while now and felt, even at the time I spoke it, like it might have been only half relevant, that "If women understood, on a deep and collective level, that men are exactly what they are expected to be in order to get laid, and if rarely more, certainly never less, a lot of women I know would be treated better by their men, or rather, they'd be treated better by better men."

My mother latched on to the comment, saying that if all that men are interested in at first encounter with a woman is sex, a woman is justified in being a little defensive.

And here is the saddest thing.

The saddest thing about our now-mainstream 'feminist' upbringing is that treating men as if they were soulless, cynical, insatiable, unrepentant 'playas,' on permanent fuck patrol doesn't simply give them an open invitation to be, it demands that they conform to this absolutely pathetic, bullshit notion (and it gives them as false and even more destructive an image of the male as the more famous media image of the female).

Two facts to keep in mind.  A.) The male reproductive system reverts, after a certain period of inactivity, usually about the six month range, to a state of hyper-sensitivity that some refer to as "born-again-virginity" due to the increased likelihood of premature ejaculation in these circumstances.  This means that, if a man does not get laid regularly, at least twice a year, his chances of satisfying a partner and therefore of retaining a partner, and therefore of getting laid in the first place in the second six months after a failed first six, are drastically reduced.  Human males are not just rewarded by evolution if they get laid, they're punished by evolution if they do not have physical sex regularly, masturbation only extends the six-month period marginally.

B.) The human brain, even the MALE one, is perfectly capable of holding two thoughts in it at once.

(and a third, a BTW one, that easily more than three quarters of guys want nothing more in life than a rewarding, monogamous relationship, children and a white picket fence.  YES.  If this is really news to you, I'm very, very sorry)

Hell, its capable of holding three thoughts, four motivations and seven different, conflicting emotions at once, I think it's capable of saying to itself, without breaking stride, "Wow, I wanna fuck that woman and see if she's intelligent enough to carry my babies."

This phrase "all that guys are interested in is sex" was composed by a pathetic loser, not a feminist.  A proper, anthropologically and sociologically supported statement, as true feminism has always been rooted in science, not the emotionality (which solid science shows women are more likely to base decisions on than men, go fuck yourselves) of a lonely, resentful spinster, would be "guys are always interested in sex."

This is why my father and I both knew, without second thought, that "a bike ride in the Sunset district" was of course, always a date, no matter how delicately or skillfully her boyfriend danced around the idea to keep her disarmed.  But its also why I like Jerreau, or rather, why I don't dislike him enough to have given him a chance to make me like him, which he did.  Because I accept that he wants to fuck my sister, but he was also willing to do that bullshit dance just to go out with her, who is so hook, line and sinker a third-wave feminist, no matter how hard I've tried to push her past third-wave mentalities.  Now whether that's a testament to how amazing he thought my sister was, or if it's just the basic learned behavior of a long-term, single-male resident of the region I don't really care, you adapt to your surroundings, even if your surrounding are stupid.  The point is that he was willing to do it, completely, no reservations, for her, and that as far as I can tell he dances with one woman if he's made a promise.

The ladies of the San Francisco Bay Area will have to forgive me if I don't feel much like learning this dance. I've certainly not met one yet who was worth my becoming a lying asshole just to prove that I'm not a lying asshole.

I also have this thing for Cheap Trick.

I mean to say I want women who are willing to own it that they want me, I'm REALLY fucking turned off by third-class treatment just because I'm not willing to LIE that I'm not trying to fuck you.  Even bigger a turn-off?  The idea that any relationship I would have with you WOULD HAVE STARTED WITH A FUCKING LIE!!!  Are you fucking kidding me?  HOW is this desirable!?!  "Prove to me that you're honestly interested in a relationship with me by lying to me convincingly about what you are and are not interested in."  No. I'm sorry.  I know I've already left a few women up here butt-hurt because I wouldn't just PLAY them, but game is for fucking CHILDREN, and I'm genuinely not fucking interested, I will not fucking hesitate to pass up a sure thing to fuck you if it means I'd have to play you, even slightly, to do it.  I JUST DON'T WANT A LIAR FOR A LOVER, sorry.